bathroom

Things on My Mind #2: Planet Fitness and Why I Care

I just have so much to say, and I keep trying to tease it all apart, but it wants to come back together in one glop, so I’m sorry. I’m going to break this into four posts to make it

bathroom

Things on My Mind #2: Planet Fitness and Why I Care

I just have so much to say, and I keep trying to tease it all apart, but it wants to come back together in one glop, so I’m sorry. I’m going to break this into four posts to make it

lgbt_hand

Things on My Mind #1: Labels Revisited

And I understand, it doesn’t really matter. Labels don’t change who we are, they’re just shorthand to help others understand us. But the further away I get from my life with men, the more I realize how much better off I am now, and it makes me question everything that came before.

lgbt_hand

Things on My Mind #1: Labels Revisited

And I understand, it doesn’t really matter. Labels don’t change who we are, they’re just shorthand to help others understand us. But the further away I get from my life with men, the more I realize how much better off I am now, and it makes me question everything that came before.

Last photo of my dad and I.

Why I’ve Been Gone

My mother called me at work around 1 p.m. on July 23, and from the tone of her voice as she said my name, I knew instantly something was very wrong. “I think your father’s dead,” she said. I mean – how do you handle that? “I think your father is dying” – OK, the man is alive but it’s very serious. “Your father is dead” – horrible but definite. But, “I think your father is dead”? There was nothing to hold on to.

Last photo of my dad and I.

Why I’ve Been Gone

My mother called me at work around 1 p.m. on July 23, and from the tone of her voice as she said my name, I knew instantly something was very wrong. “I think your father’s dead,” she said. I mean – how do you handle that? “I think your father is dying” – OK, the man is alive but it’s very serious. “Your father is dead” – horrible but definite. But, “I think your father is dead”? There was nothing to hold on to.

Wilder

“The Link Between Rape and Pornography”

“A lot of researchers will tell you that a link can’t be made between rape and pornography, or that they’re not sure yet if one exists. “Meet someone who does know with certainty.”  

Wilder

“The Link Between Rape and Pornography”

“A lot of researchers will tell you that a link can’t be made between rape and pornography, or that they’re not sure yet if one exists. “Meet someone who does know with certainty.”  

564279_10151382325952796_1455912689_n

Not Inconceivable: Pregnancy after Rape

At least I can’t get pregnant.

This was the thought in my mind when my rapist anally penetrated me. At least I can’t get pregnant. In the midst of the horror I endured, I clung to that thought. What was happening was excruciating, terrifying. But at least I wouldn’t get pregnant. Because becoming pregnant after this would have been even worse. It would have taken a six-hour long period of assault and degradation and stretched it out across nine months. It would have been a daily reminder of what he did to me. I wouldn’t be at home in my own body.

564279_10151382325952796_1455912689_n

Not Inconceivable: Pregnancy after Rape

At least I can’t get pregnant.

This was the thought in my mind when my rapist anally penetrated me. At least I can’t get pregnant. In the midst of the horror I endured, I clung to that thought. What was happening was excruciating, terrifying. But at least I wouldn’t get pregnant. Because becoming pregnant after this would have been even worse. It would have taken a six-hour long period of assault and degradation and stretched it out across nine months. It would have been a daily reminder of what he did to me. I wouldn’t be at home in my own body.

oh bondage

Up from Bondage

But what I am saying is that this world of BDSM is more than just acts out of context. There’s a lot of philosophy in there – some good, a lot terrible. There are ideas – some harmless, some contemptible. And there is a lot of abuse. A lot.

oh bondage

Up from Bondage

But what I am saying is that this world of BDSM is more than just acts out of context. There’s a lot of philosophy in there – some good, a lot terrible. There are ideas – some harmless, some contemptible. And there is a lot of abuse. A lot.