Category Archives: Bio

Things on my mind #3: I’ve been rethinking lately

Our stories are what make us. These stories helped shape how I think about men and women.

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Things on my mind #3: I’ve been rethinking lately

Our stories are what make us. These stories helped shape how I think about men and women.

Things on My Mind #1: Labels Revisited

And I understand, it doesn’t really matter. Labels don’t change who we are, they’re just shorthand to help others understand us. But the further away I get from my life with men, the more I realize how much better off I am now, and it makes me question everything that came before.

Things on My Mind #1: Labels Revisited

And I understand, it doesn’t really matter. Labels don’t change who we are, they’re just shorthand to help others understand us. But the further away I get from my life with men, the more I realize how much better off I am now, and it makes me question everything that came before.

Why I’ve Been Gone

My mother called me at work around 1 p.m. on July 23, and from the tone of her voice as she said my name, I knew instantly something was very wrong. “I think your father’s dead,” she said. I mean – how do you handle that? “I think your father is dying” – OK, the man is alive but it’s very serious. “Your father is dead” – horrible but definite. But, “I think your father is dead”? There was nothing to hold on to.

Why I’ve Been Gone

My mother called me at work around 1 p.m. on July 23, and from the tone of her voice as she said my name, I knew instantly something was very wrong. “I think your father’s dead,” she said. I mean – how do you handle that? “I think your father is dying” – OK, the man is alive but it’s very serious. “Your father is dead” – horrible but definite. But, “I think your father is dead”? There was nothing to hold on to.

Not Inconceivable: Pregnancy after Rape

At least I can’t get pregnant.

This was the thought in my mind when my rapist anally penetrated me. At least I can’t get pregnant. In the midst of the horror I endured, I clung to that thought. What was happening was excruciating, terrifying. But at least I wouldn’t get pregnant. Because becoming pregnant after this would have been even worse. It would have taken a six-hour long period of assault and degradation and stretched it out across nine months. It would have been a daily reminder of what he did to me. I wouldn’t be at home in my own body.

Not Inconceivable: Pregnancy after Rape

At least I can’t get pregnant.

This was the thought in my mind when my rapist anally penetrated me. At least I can’t get pregnant. In the midst of the horror I endured, I clung to that thought. What was happening was excruciating, terrifying. But at least I wouldn’t get pregnant. Because becoming pregnant after this would have been even worse. It would have taken a six-hour long period of assault and degradation and stretched it out across nine months. It would have been a daily reminder of what he did to me. I wouldn’t be at home in my own body.

Up from Bondage

But what I am saying is that this world of BDSM is more than just acts out of context. There’s a lot of philosophy in there – some good, a lot terrible. There are ideas – some harmless, some contemptible. And there is a lot of abuse. A lot.

Up from Bondage

But what I am saying is that this world of BDSM is more than just acts out of context. There’s a lot of philosophy in there – some good, a lot terrible. There are ideas – some harmless, some contemptible. And there is a lot of abuse. A lot.

Tale of Two Children

While he made a lot of noise about creating his “man cave,” he also took classes in cake decorating and baking. (And seriously, why would anyone object to that?!) He valued taking care of his nails and growing out his hair and wearing it in a ponytail. But. But! He was simultaneously strict with how the sexes should relate to each other in a marriage.

Tale of Two Children

While he made a lot of noise about creating his “man cave,” he also took classes in cake decorating and baking. (And seriously, why would anyone object to that?!) He valued taking care of his nails and growing out his hair and wearing it in a ponytail. But. But! He was simultaneously strict with how the sexes should relate to each other in a marriage.

Victim or Survivor

There’s a thought-provoking post here about what we call people who have been raped. For most of my life, people who were raped were simply “victims.” Then I went through training to work with those people – mostly women –

Victim or Survivor

There’s a thought-provoking post here about what we call people who have been raped. For most of my life, people who were raped were simply “victims.” Then I went through training to work with those people – mostly women –